January 10, 2006

It’s unbelievable that after 15 years, The Simpsons continues to be hilarious. This past Sunday, while fighting fever delirium, I watched a new episode of The Simpsons and it wasn’t that good. But for whatever reason, watching it made me scour through the 153-odd unwatched episodes on my TiVO. Of course, I’d seen most of the previous episodes but had seen none from this season. Tonight, instead of watching me perform (mediocrely) on an ABC sitcom, I watched a recorded Simpsons episode from November about Homer running for mayor and it had my sides splitting. Splitting like an overripe melon thrown off of a gymnasium roof!

It just amazed me that the show can still surprise. Of course, I can’t remember a single joke – that’s not my thing – but it was high-larious. It ain’t perfect, but the consistency is to be commended. And if you’re wondering how I can have so many episodes on my TiVO (at high quality), it takes about a $100 and an hour to increase your TiVO’s capacity 8-fold.

Anyhow, still mildly sick, but had some wine tonight anyhow. What else was I supposed to drink with my penne with bitter greens? It’s so easy, by the way. Go into my garden and pluck a couple handfuls of bitter greens, chop them up and sauté them with some sliced garlic. Add some cooked penne, salt, pepper and grated romano and you’re done. Unless you want to add some truffle oil, as I did. Couldn’t be simpler.

Sleep now.

January 8?, 2006

The past couple days have been sort of a blur. You know how in movies, when the protagonist gets drugged by a spiked martini and then the camera cuts to his/her perspective and it gets all blurry and streaky and the audio sounds like it's coming through a cardboard tube. Well that's what this weekend's illness was like. I had a little cough but still went for a run Saturday morning. I felt like ass afterwards. Then I went to a tennis class and felt like double-ass afterwards. When I got home, I thought, maybe I'm sick. I'm very in tune with my body like that. My temperature: 99 degrees Farenheit. So I stayed in and watched "One Day in September" to bone up on my terrorist history before seeing "Munich." It's an excellent movie. Gripping, sad, frustrating, very well made (by the guy who did "Into the Void").

Sunday morning, I woke up with the blurry/cardboard tube sensation accented by pain in head and body. Ride it out, I thought. Temperature: 100. After watching 3 episodes of the Jack Osbourne reality show where he loses 56 pounds and climbs a mountain, I called my sister and she says go to a doctor. I said, pshaw. Temperature: 101. So I took more Motrin and started sweating gallons. Temperature: 102. At that point I thought maybe it wasn't such a good idea to eat that coughing duck that died on my doorstep. I dragged my ass to Woodland Hills, which I discovered is where my hospital is. That's a 25 mile sucky drive.

But they were great there. I didn't have to wait and they doted on me. Doted, I say! They've got this flu test where they stick a Q-tip up your nose and then make a little culture. Ten minute later, they told me I had influenza-A. Yeah, yeah. Whatever. But what a cool test. It even came in its own cardboard box with picture instructions. Then they gave me Tamiflu, which, because of its prevalence in the news, seemed so trendy and sexy. The whole experience seemed so futuristic; the only thing missing was a robot doctor.

Anyhow, the lesson learned: get a goddamned flu shot.